More paradice
2011-05-21 05:00:27 (читать в оригинале)
I at one time tried my hand at actually being a prostitute. You know, doing tricks for money, with a very nice madam, and just completely bombed. I just was no good at it. I absolutely could not manufacture the excitement, the sexual excitement that I needed in order to have sex. and so many people asked me well how could you do it in front of a camera then? Well the truth of it is, when there’s a camera running, it is so thrilling, God help me, I love the camera! The fact that it was a fuck film, I was frightened to begin with, but there is something about making a movie, when you are in the reality of the film set, anything is possible. The narrative of sex, of course first there is attraction, our little hearts beat fast and our palms get sweaty and we I get a tinkle on the outside of my arms. Foreplay, getting to know eachother and of knowing exactly what the other person’s sexual triggers are, whether it’s the little spot right behind the ear, the inside of the elbow, the kiss on the neck, a flittering of the tongue across the clitoris. Oh boy, an orgasm is that point in time that can’t be measured – a mystical instant that doesn’t really exist in this dimension. I will have to confess that the eroticism and excitement being expressed was very deliberate. It’s not something that I said, “Oh my god this is the most wonderful thing in the world, I can’t wait to do this again.” Probably the most uncomfortable and humiliating thing I’ve ever done on film. But nonetheless, there I was! Because the truth of it is, I love the camera. We are our own devil.
