Ab. building

Can I just talk a little bit? A little bit about my “worms” in my head and maybe about meaning of life?

No, I’m not special and I even didn’t think about to show my language knowledge, I’ve just understood that its really easier for me use other language for speaking. Why not? I think it’s really exciting when you can say something other people can understand you! A lot more people!..

But this kind of aspect also has other sides. Last time I’m thinking a lot about wealth of the silence. Its not just a match, I think the silence is a special key for life in peace, love and appeasement, but… No, about this “but” I will say a little bit later. About the silence… A lot of famous and the smartest people in the world say about this universal clue a lot. A lot of monks spend in silence almost all their life.

Meditation.

The deep comprehensive of other people.

Ok.

But something in all this things I really cant understand, I missed something really important. I will try to explain.

I have my own world. I have my own experience, a lot of benefits, special knowledge for comprehend some life situations and so on. And I have a pattern for this moment, like a pattern I really satisfied and I’m sure it’s the best pattern for me in this part of my life, its look like I’ve already found all I needed! But.  There is one problem. I still can’t hold inside the feelings when somebody makes something and I think I know how to do it better.

Of course, it’s a wrong feeling, because I don’t know what exactly will be better for other persons and its not my deal. I need just shut up and observe around. I must allow to other people get their own experience, moreover if they want to ask me an advise, they will just ask for sure, won’t they? And now its time for the reason of my situation. Attention! Ready? Every time I hear something from other people (it could be a mention, thinking or something else), I determined like it was “question” exactly for me! Otherwise why do they just talk with me about that?! I’m not a wall for self-talking or I just should to be? So from my side it looks like they don’t want keep silent, so they want to be heard, don’t they?

And that’s why after some conversations I’m a little bit confused, you know. But I just want to help…

So in the conclusion I spent my energy, my mood, my nerves and get back really negative feels. Of course after it I feel myself like a little child after fail inside. I want to close myself in the room and be alone as long as it possible, but I understand it will not help me solve the situation from inside.

Every day I think about the reading the Bible. The reason of this wish is not religion, I think every religion says about the equal things, but different ways. One bad thing is not all people comprehend it in the right clue. But its their right. Everybody is different and it’s the main beautiful of this world.  So I want to see how will I understand it.

Knowledge is the most powerful thing in this world, but without the silence it can kill you the same way it had killed a lot of talent people. But again, we will never know the truth, because for everybody its different.

You know, I just want to enjoy. I want so savour every moment, concentrate on the nice things, delight by all world around me… I just want to put in my world more simplicity, love, smile… And after that I can give all these feelings to others. I think.